The Love of God

He Sees You

susieamicone 2 Comments

Today I washed and folded laundry. No one applauded.

Today I cleaned the kitchen and all the floors. No one cheered.

Today I made breakfast AND dinner. No one shouted accolades of praise.

Today I picked kids up from school. No one gave me a standing ovation.

Today I did office work for our business. No one patted my back.

Today I comforted teenage girls in their time of emotional distress. No one broadcasted my compassion and patience.

Today I taught my kids to repay evil with good and to love God and love people. No one shouts my name from a stage.

Today I cleaned the litter box and fed all the animals. No one sang a song of glee.

Today I helped with College Algebra, Geometry, Biology, Chemistry and College Writing. No one gave me an “atta, girl.”

Today I paid college apartment rent, auto insurance premiums, and bought the hundredth pair of pointe shoes. Not one person requested an interview to declare my amazing, selfless acts.

Today and every day…day in and day out…I clean, I fold, I wash, I sweep, I comfort, I cook, I love, I give.

Today and every day…day in and day out…I care for and keep human beings alive and thriving.

Where’s my praise? Where’s my public display of adoration? Where’s my grand gesture of thanks?

Nothing but silence.

Then I hear my Father say, “I love you immensely, I think about you all the time, and I see you and know who you are, where you are. When you do all these tasks that seem to go unnoticed, I see. You are not doing these things for others, but for Me. Well done, my daughter. Thank you for caring for who I have given you, with what I have given you.”

Mothers, wives, grandmothers…don’t give up, don’t be discouraged. You are loved and appreciated by your Creator. Keep doing what you do as unto the Lord. The Father delights in you as you bathe your baby and wash those dishes. God rejoices over you as you teach your children about His Son. His banner over you is pure love as you tenderly care for and support your family. He rewards you in special ways that touch only your heart.

Let David’s words from Psalm 139 be your prayer and song each day.

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Why is This Happening?

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“Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do people that we love suffer? Why do mothers, fathers, children get sick and die? Why is there rape, murder, racism, anger and so much hatred everywhere you turn? If there is a God, why does He allow these things to happen?”

So many awful things have happened this year. It seems that we are completely surrounded by sadness and despair. In my own life throughout this year, I’ve experienced tremendous losses, insurmountable stress, tragedy, fear and sadness.

For instance…I share these things with you to demonstrate that we all have situations to overcome or deal with in our lives. I speak from experience, not from a perfect life. Some may say, “Easy for you to say, Susie. You haven’t had bad things happen in your life like I have.” So on that note…

One of my closest friends was diagnosed with colon cancer (and thankfully has recovered 100%).

My grandfather passed away during the initial COVID quarantine.

Working in healthcare during this pandemic was so awful…I recently “retired.” Unless you work in healthcare, you can’t imagine what I’m speaking of.

A dear friend died suddenly from complications of COVID…a coworker. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.

Several people I know are battling with cancer…young women. A high school classmate died from breast cancer this year.

My sister was in a head-on collision with a truck and suffered a traumatic brain injury, broken foot and neck and hip injury. She is on the long road to recovery.

My dad fell down the basement steps and mangled his elbow, which required extensive surgery. He is also on the long road to recovery.

My girls’ education has been disjointed and disorganized. Lily is having trouble getting everything together to apply to colleges because of all the delays and cancellations of everything. Nathan’s football season in his first year of college football was canceled. Who cares, you may say? Well, he’s there on a football scholarship, so… Schools are doing the best they can, but it’s a lot of stress for these kids and the parents.

This election season has been completely ridiculous. The way people are acting towards one another…there are no words. It grieves my heart.

I could go on and on…I’m sure you have a list as well.

I can easily fall into the trap of asking, “Why?”

I don’t know.

But, this is what I know. God is sovereign and He is good. I don’t always understand His plans and His thoughts, but I know He is good.

I know that He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to this earth to pay the price for all our sins, all our sickness and diseases.

I know that there are things that happen here on earth that I don’t understand now, but when I see Jesus face to face, it will all make sense.

I know that this world has been corrupted by evil and sometimes we must suffer because of that. But God, our Abba Father, has given us a Hope, a Rescuer, a Defender in Jesus.

I understand that the trials, sickness, and heartache of this earth are just for a little while. This is a temporary situation.

I know that my God is full of grace to help me through whatever I face in life. He walks with me through every situation I find myself in. He is close to me when my heart is broken, when I am depressed and when I am afraid. I trust Him with my whole heart.

I know that he sees each tear I cry when I am sad, lonely, overwhelmed or worried.

I know that He makes everything beautiful in His time.

I know that He uses every situation for good in some way, even when I can’t understand and or see it.

I know that God loves my family and my friends more perfectly than I ever can and I place them in His hands. His will be done in their lives.

I won’t pretend to have all the answers, but I can point you to the One who does. God’s Word comforts me and encourages me. I pray for His grace each day to help me face whatever comes. The Bible says His mercies are new every morning and His faithfulness is great.

He is who I turn to. He is who I cling to. He is all I know.

Peace in a Pandemic

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What’s around us doesn’t have to get in us. -Joyce Meyer

I know that is hard, if not seemingly impossible, to achieve with everything that is going on in our world today. Fear and anxiety is the common thread of every news program, social media post and article that we are unrelentingly exposed to every day.  I freely admit, it is all WAY too much for me to handle on my own. Don’t you agree?

When I find myself becoming anxious, afraid and overwhelmed, this is what I’ve been doing. I pray these words, just like David did in Psalm 61:2.   When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.  That “Rock” is Jesus.  Jesus is the Prince of Peace.  He gives a peace that doesn’t make sense when you consider what is happening in the world right now.  The peace that passes all understanding.

Throughout the day, I meditate on these words, “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”  Dwelling in the secret place of God simply means that you spend time with Him daily through worship (thankfulness), prayer (talking to Him), and reading His Word (the Bible is the blueprint for our lives, it’s the way God speaks to us most easily). Being in the secret place is a time of intimacy between you and your Creator. A time to talk to Him and for Him to talk to you. When you enjoy this kind of relationship with God, you can count on His protection, His covering, His rest, His peace and His security. Psalm 91 says that He will even command His angels to protect you, defend you and guard you!

And why would God do these things? Why would He even care what we’re feeling or going through? Because He loves us. When we call on Him for help, He WILL answer. He gives us His Word. God promises to be with you, to walk with you and talk with you, even during a global pandemic. Don’t worry, He’s not too busy…You’re at the top of His priority list!

So, I encourage you today to do as the apostle Peter instructed us to do:  Humble yourself before God, admitting that you can’t deal with this crisis on your own. Then, cast all your cares (all your anxieties, all your worries and all your concerns, once and for all) because He cares about you (with deep affection and watches over you very carefully).

Reciting the above verses from the Bible every day will help you stay grounded and peaceful. As you spend time with God, share with me what He is speaking to you, if you’d like. I would love to hear all about it!

In the meantime, hang in there, friends, we’re going to make it! Here’s an awesome song to encourage you!

Too Good to Be True?

susieamicone 1 Comment

Are you in a relationship in which you feel like you’re on a roller coaster or a merry-go-round that you can’t figure how to get off of? Is your boyfriend, fiancé, husband super sweet one moment and then moody and accusatory the next? Is there passionate lovemaking one night and explosive arguments the next day? Are there little red flags going off here and there that you’ve been choosing to ignore? Does he call his ex-girlfriends or wives crazy, manipulative lunatics? Does he play the victim in past relationships? Maybe he says he just hasn’t found the right one until he found you. Fate has brought you together. Maybe. But still, something’s off, something’s not quite right. Perhaps he’s an addict…drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex…you’re not sure if he is. Is that the problem? The underlying problem to many, if not all, addictions is a personality disorder. Maybe that’s it. There are different kinds of personality disorders and many different things to become addicted to. So, there are many combinations that can potentially become a destructive force to your relationship, your marriage, and ultimately to you, the victim. In an effort to help my fellow womankind, to warn you, to open your eyes, to validate what you might be experiencing and feeling, to let you know that YOU’RE not the one who is crazy…I write this blog…at 2:00 in the morning. This weighs heavily on my heart for you. If you’ll just consider the words that I present to you. I came across this article earlier that explains what narcissism is and what it looks like to be in a relationship with a narcissist. There were some inappropriate words in the original, so I did change a few words to make it PG. I’ve posted the link to the original if you’d like my reference to the article. If my words have rung a bell in your heart, please read this…

A relationship with a Narcissist has been compared to being on a roller coaster, with immense highs and immense lows. They have been described as the proverbial Jekyll and Hyde, one way one minute, another the next.

People usually get into relationships for love and the need to connect and bond with another. Narcissists get into relationships for entirely different reasons. They do not feel love and they lack the ability to connect and form normal attachment bonds with others.
Narcissists need people more than anyone. Because their entire sense of self-esteem and self-worth is dependent on the admiration of others, their emotions are a precarious balance of needing others and needing to be left alone.
Narcissists feel an enormous void inside of them. This void is ever present and the only thing that fills it, is the love and esteem of another. The fix is always temporary though. A Narcissist describes it this way, “It’s like my brain is constantly seeking something. It’s like I’m always chasing a carrot at the end of a stick. Nothing I do satisfies me, at least not for long. I feel like I only do things because I’m supposed to, because society does it. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere or with anyone.”
Narcissists are completely self-absorbed and are oblivious to the wants and needs of others. They enter into relationships in an attempt to fill this void and to make sure that they have someone who is always available for sex, an ego stroke or whatever need they may have. A relationship with a Narcissist always follows three phases, the over-evaluations phase, the devaluation phase and the discard phase.
The Over-evaluation Phase
A Narcissist is very careful when choosing a target. Typically, they will choose a victim based on their status. They must be attractive, popular, rich or extremely gifted in some area. The greater the status, the higher the value the Narcissist places on the Supply derived.
Once a target has been chosen, it’s almost like the Narcissist gets tunnel vision. They are hyper-vigilant in their pursuit and will project the perfect image that their victim wants them to be. They are excessively caring, loving and attentive at this stage. They shower their targets with attention, compliments and literally sweep them off their feet.
They place their target on a pedestal, idolize and worship them. Their target is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Here the Narcissist is ecstatic, full of hopes and dreams. They will talk and think about them constantly, they are euphoric. This is as close as a Narcissist will ever get to feeling love. This kind of idolization is what others would call infatuation.
The victim is likely so caught up in all the attention and is usually thinking at this point, that they have found their soul-mate. Their pursuer is exactly what they want in a partner (because the Narcissist is mirroring what they have learned appeals to their target) and they can’t believe how lucky they are and that this catch is still single.
What they don’t know, or could ever be prepared for, is what comes next.
The Devaluation Stage
The Over-Evaluation phase, if you’re dealing with a Somatic Narcissist, usually lasts anywhere from a few weeks to a couple of months, just long enough for the Narcissist to be confident that they have secured their target’s love and devotion. Unbeknownst to the target, what they were witnessing in the early phase was the Narcissist’s false self. In this second phase, the mask comes off and the Narcissist starts to reveal their true colours.
The shift could be gradual or almost seemingly overnight. Suddenly the attention they so lavishly gave you is gone and replace by indifference and silence. Days or weeks could go by and you won’t hear from them. They don’t return your phone calls, they don’t keep a single promise and you’re starting to suspect that they might be involved with someone else. The target is left baffled and confused and wondering what they did wrong to cause such an abrupt turnaround.
Narcissists become bored easily and what usually starts happening in their heads at this stage, is that the void begins to emerge again. The high they were feeding off of is waning and they begin to question your worthiness, that perhaps you weren’t so special after all, because if you were then the void wouldn’t still be there.
They become moody and agitated easily, blaming you for even the slightest transgression. They start to disappear more frequently and they give you the silent treatment in an attempt to create distance. As the Narcissist withdraws, the target starts to cling and your demands for his attention and your need to understand what’s happening, grate on his nerves. The harder you cling the more the Narcissist pulls away. They start to blame and criticize the target for everything, treating them like an emotional punching bag.
At this point the target is an emotional wreck. The Narcissist has left without any explanation and they can’t figure out how one minute they were put on a pedestal and now it’s like they don’t even exist. The Narcissist is a projector and they are projecting their emotional turmoil onto you. They feed off of other people’s misery (as long as it’s caused by them) just as much as they feed off of your admiration, either way it makes no difference to them.
It is this person, this cruel, indifferent, unfeeling, sadist that is the behind the mask. Most targets desperately try to find the one they fell in love with. What they don’t realize is that that person never existed. They were a facade an act put on by the Narcissist to secure their Supply.
The Narcissist will take no responsibility for their actions, because they simply don’t care how they’ve treated you or how you are feeling.

Narcissists are not capable of forming normal healthy attachments to people. Those that aren’t familiar with the disorder are completely at a loss to understand how unnecessarily cruel their behavior can be. The target was never more than an object to the Narcissist, whose usefulness is on the decline.
The Narcissist isn’t one to throw away a potential piece of supply though. He will keep up this I love you, I love you not charade going for as long as it suits them or as long as you allow it. He will breeze in and out of your life as if nothing ever happened, completely oblivious and indifferent to your suffering.
This mind trick is deliberate and he will keep feeding you crumbs of attention, just enough to keep you emotionally invested and available to cater to his every need.
At some point one of two things will happen: either he will find a new target and begin phase one with them, thus ignoring you completely, or you will have had enough of his psychotic abuse and you will take control and put an end to it, thus ushering In phase three.
The Discard Phase
It is almost baffling to watch the ease at which a Narcissist can pull away from his partners. Many targets are left asking themselves, “Did he ever love me? Did I mean anything to him?” The simple answer is no. No one means anything to him. Women are only a means to an end – to obtain the much needed Narcissistic Supply. Once your usefulness has run its course, you will be discarded abruptly and cruelly, without warning.
Trying to get over a relationship with a Narcissist is extremely difficult. Once it is over the target is usually an emotional wreck, whose self-esteem has been annihilated by the persistent demeaning behavior, insults and cruelty of the Narcissist. Depending on when they were able to break free, the target maybe a shadow of their former self, with a lot of work ahead of them to rebuild their shattered self-image.
As a victim tries to pick up the pieces, What must be remembered is that you were deliberately targeted, lied to and manipulated by a skilled con-artist, for their own gain. There was nothing you could have done differently and none of this was your fault. The Narcissist will repeat this pattern with every person, every time, bar none.
All former targets must be vigilantly on guard, because a Narcissist always reserves the right to revisit a former source of supply, no matter how much time has passed or how badly they’ve behaved.
Once you have broken free you must close the door on any and all contact, because if you don’t you’re headed back to a watered down version of Phase One – over and over and over again.

Remember, friend, you were created for more than this. You are the apple of God’s eye. You are worth more to your Creator than all the gold and riches in the world. You cannot fix a man or make him better. Only God can. Look to Him for help and guidance and never forget who YOU are and what YOU were made for. He has great plans for your life.
If you are dating or engaged to someone like this…run! Run as fast as you can! Get off the crazy train while you can! If you’re married, get help, now. Find a professional counselor to help you. If you need assistance finding someone, I can point you in the right direction.

I pray blessing, strength, boldness and emotional healing over every woman who reads these words. May God’s love fill your heart and help you to see yourself as He sees you.

Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

http://esteemology.com/the-three-phases-of-a-narcissistic-relationship-cycle-over-evaluation-devaluation-discard/

 

The Love of a Father

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My husband works out of town a lot. When he flies home, the girls and I usually pick him up at the airport. Lew loves nothing more than when his girls are there to greet him with hugs and kisses. Lily and Emma go running to him, jump in his arms and give him kisses galore. He absolutely loves it. He will admit that he lives for moments like these. Being the stepfather of my girls has broadened his heart’s capacity for a whole different dimension of love.

The most recent pickup from the airport was right around Lily’s birthday. Lew asks Lily where she would like to go shopping with him for her birthday, just the two of them.

Now to give you just a little background on Lily’s thought process over the weeks prior to this event…She has been begging me to get a dog.  Lily is an animal lover and desperately wants her own dog. I keep telling her no because we just don’t have room in our lives right now for another animal. My proverbial plate is full and overflowing with living creatures to care for at the moment (2 cats, 5 fish, 4 kids, 1 husband).

So when Lew asks Lily where she would like to go shopping, with head tilted and a little smirk on her face, she declares…”I want to go dog shopping!”

Geez oh Petes! If Mom says, “No,” ask Dad, right? My eyes about roll out of my head! But I keep driving and let the drama unfold. Lew is half turned around in his seat and when she made the announcement about her choice of shopping, he put his head down and sighs out a weak, “Oh no.” He knows this is going to be bad. I can feel his distress.

“I know why you’re acting like that,” Lily says with her little pre-teen girl “I-AM-going-to-get-what-I-want” sweet as molasses voice.

“Why am I acting like this?” Lew literally groans like a cornered animal about to be eaten by a savage lion.

“Because I know you WANNA make me happy. You WANNA give me what I want. But, you guys don’t want me to have a dog, so you feel bad. You know I’m going to be sad because I can’t have what I want. But I know you WANNA make me happy.”

How’s that perception for a 12 year old? Look out Lew…

Emma chimes in, “Yeah, cause our Daddy Lew gives us whatever we want!”

Lew stares at me with a look that says, “Can you believe she just said that?”

I say to him, “Well, it’s your fault. You’re the one who has spoiled these girls and loved them to pieces. It’s because you have shown them unconditional love and adoration. They are 100% comfortable coming to you and asking you for anything their little hearts desire. These girls have you tightly wound around each of their little fingers.”

Lew is not impressed with my analysis of the situation and stews over it for days. I know he’s secretly pleased that the girls love him and know him so well. Of course, Lily did not get a dog. This queen rules supreme in our house, no matter what the princesses do to manipulate the king!

When I witness these little interactions between my children and Lew, I can’t help but compare their relationship to my relationship with God. Lew is not their father by birth, but he has taken them in as his own.  He clothes them, feeds them, shelters them, supports them and loves them. Obviously, they are so secure in his love for them, as proven by their requests for even the most outrageous things. And what can they, as children, give him in return? Love.  And that’s what Lew cherishes the most.

Our heavenly Father loves us so much.  We are the apple of His eye.  His sons and His daughters. I John 3:1 says, “Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called the children of God!”

Do you feel secure in your relationship with God today? Do you feel as if you could go to Him and ask Him for anything you need or want? What do you need from your Father today? Healing, peace, comfort, joy, finances, salvation? Go ahead and ask. He already knows what you need before you even speak it. (Matthew 6:8)

The Bible says, “Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man among you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him?”

Do you feel bold in your relationship with God? As His child, you have direct access to the throne room of God. Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

You have been given permission to ask whatever it is that you need of the Father. Jesus’ sacrifice on Calvary paid the price for everything. What is going through your mind right now? Don’t be afraid to ask. God loves you and wants to supply all your needs for you. All you have to do is ask! Philippians 4:19 says, “My God will supply all your needs, according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

And lastly, you don’t have to ask Him for ONLY things that you need, but also for that which you desire. He loves to give good things to His children. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

How can we ever repay such a Father? By being thankful and loving Him back. Just like Lew, all God wants in return is the undying love of the children that He calls His own.