The conclusion of Chelsea’s story…
Chelsea’s mother fell into a deep depression, deeper than ever before. And, of course, Chelsea was the one to care for her. She felt torn. She desperately did not want to leave her mother alone, but she and Trevor needed their own space. After all, the baby was coming. They finally moved out of her parent’s house, but it took her months to unpack fully. Every day, Chelsea would wake up and run over to her mother’s house to make sure she was eating and taking care of herself.
“After months of darkness, she brought light!”
“The happiest day of my life.”
Chelsea’s baby girl, Katie, was born! How she loved her sweet baby girl! Trevor worked all day, then he’d come home and go hunting or fishing in the evening. He never wanted to be at home. So, it was just Chelsea and Katie all day, every day. They baptized her in a Lutheran church and Chelsea started taking her to church on Sundays. Chelsea would talk to her mom about what she was reading in the Bible, but she would mock her and warn her about becoming a religious freak. So, Chelsea stopped going to church and she stopped talking about it. How sad. Thankfully, God had special plans for Chelsea and her girl years down the road.
When Katie was one year old, Chelsea decided it was time to find a job. They needed extra money, now that they had a baby to take care of. She found a job working just a few days a week, just what she needed! Chelsea also started losing weight and getting the attention she so craved.
“I was sick of being fat all my life. The more weight I lost, the more attention I got. I was starving for attention. My husband gave me none. I lost a total of 85 pounds and not once did he say anything nice to me.”
Have you ever felt ignored or simply “not noticed” by your husband? I think we all have at one time or another. Be careful during this time of self-absorption. Because that’s what this is. A pity party. A “He doesn’t know how lucky he is to have a woman like me” party. A “Someone else would appreciate me more” party. Anyone ever experience a party like this before? Here’s how the story usually goes…It always begins with “There was this guy…”
There was this guy at her job who did notice Chelsea and her weight loss. He was so nice to her, giving her attention, affection, and compliments. She confided in him about Trevor and his lack of attention. Kevin sympathized with her. Of course.They would talk and joke around all night. A man that could talk! Wow! Let me pause for a moment and explain something. What you have read in the last few sentences is how most, if not all, affairs begin. So beware, ladies. Beware.
Chelsea was definitely attracted to Kevin. She began thinking of him often. He called her one day and asked her to meet him for lunch. She had to refuse because of Katie, but that one bold call took their relationship to a whole new level. Kevin called Chelsea daily. They talked for hours. Kevin made her feel alive and wanted. The physical aspect of the affair began. Chelsea’s conscious screamed that it was wrong, but her loneliness justified her actions. He was the man who she had been craving all these years.
Chelsea left Trevor a few months later and she and Kevin moved in together. When the divorce was finalized, Chelsea struggled with a contortion of emotions. She did love Trevor. She had given up so much for him and it devastated her that he didn’t fight for her. I admit that I have struggled with these same emotions myself. Shouldn’t a person fight for something that they love and want?
“Through that time, I turned to alcohol instead of food. Kevin and I would go to the bar at least three times a week and spend hundreds of dollars on alcohol. We would fight like crazy. Sometimes it got physical. The more my guilt consumed me, the more I drank. I would get mad at Trevor if he was late to get Katie because that cut into my drinking time.”
At this point in her life, Chelsea’s story goes from bad to worse. On a chilly day in November, she found out she was pregnant. A few months into her pregnancy, Kevin went out and got drunk. When he came home, they had a fight. It became physical. He threw Chelsea on the couch. The next day, she started bleeding. February 18, 2007, three years to the day after her father died, Chelsea had a miscarriage. She and Kevin were devastated. If you’ve lost a baby, you know how they were feeling. It was time to sober up. The drinking finally stopped. Chelsea and Kevin, together, began attending church and they both gave their lives to Jesus. Tragedy will do that. It will bring you to your knees and cause you to look to the only person who can help you. Jesus Christ. And not only is He our Savior, but He is our Restorer. If I had to chose one word that sums up Chelsea’s story it would be restoration.
Restoration is the act of returning something to a former owner, place or condition.
Chelsea gave birth to a healthy baby boy the following year. With Victor, they made a happy family of four! Katie was a great big sister! Kevin adored having a son and things were finally right with Chelsea’s life! But wait, we’re not done with this story yet…
Kevin lost his job shortly before Victor was born. For two years, they struggled to make ends meet. Chelsea was still happy though. They had food to eat, a warm home. She knew she was blessed. But, if you’ve ever experienced a husband out of work, you know how hard it can be on the man. Kevin became depressed. When he finally found a job, he seemed happy. But after a few months, he started to change. He was angry all the time. He hid his cell phone from Chelsea and kept a passcode on it so no one could use it.
Are you getting that sick, dreading feeling in the pit of your stomach? You have an idea of what’s coming next…
“I watched him put the code in one day and memorized it. While he was sleeping, I took his phone and looked. He had been texting someone he found on Craigslist for sexual favors. I don’t know if he ever went through with it. He says he didn’t, but that was the last straw for me. After all the fighting and boozing, I couldn’t take it anymore. He either got help or I was gone.”
Kevin started going to counseling with one of the pastors from their church. He truly became a changed man.
“Our marriage is near perfect. He loves Jesus, I love Jesus and our kids are being brought up in His presence.”
Kevin found a new job working away from home. It was very hard for Chelsea at first. Besides her trust issues, she is raising two kids on her own. Slowly, she has adjusted to life without her husband around each day. Finally (!), here’s her happy ending…at least until she gets to heaven…
“I finally feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. As I grow older, I find more purpose and trust God more. If not for Him, I don’t know where I’d be right now. I have no doubt He was right alongside me my whole life, even though I never really felt Him. He brought me up out of the trenches and for that, I will forever be grateful. There were so many days I just wanted to give up on life. I’m so thankful that God never gave up on me.”
What about her mother, you may be asking? We’ve heard how Chelsea felt manipulated and controlled by her mother, always having to take care of her, holding Chelsea back from discovering herself. She has finally come to a place in her life where she has learned to place healthy boundaries between she and her mother. I’ve witnessed this in her life and it is definitely hard for Chelsea. She still struggles with maintaining the appropriate distance from her mother, but she admits that things a much better between them now.
Chelsea’s story is so dear to my heart, paralleling my own life at certain times. My desire is that as you have read her story, you’ve seen the power and restoration that can be found through a relationship with God. Just like Chelsea, He loves you so much and will never stop pursuing you. Maybe you are in a place in your life where you feel abused, lost, lonely, worn out and used. Your Creator is lovingly waiting for you to turn to Him and allow Him to be all that you need. Parents let us down, husbands betray us, friends disappoint us, children leave us, it’s true. But Jesus will always be with you. The Bible says that He will never leave you. He will restore your life, redeem your life and make all things new. He loves you so much. Invite Him into your life today.
Once more, in Chelsea’s own words,
“God is so awesome and amazing. I’m overwhelmed by the amount of love He has for me. I couldn’t ask to be in a better place in my life right now. All the glory goes to Him.”
If you’ve been touched by this story, please tell me. It matters to the women who are being so brave in sharing their precious lives with you. YOU matter to Chelsea. She wants you to find hope and healing through her story. So please, contact me at the email address below. All correspondences are confidential.